Thursday night I was exhausted but I figured it was my turn. Now or never. Sometime the week before, I had met up with a close girlfriend to help her clean out her closet. It was so fun. Apparently more fun for me than it was for her. “No boo, PLEASE drop that in the pile” her face would melt… “Really??? I love this sweater. Picture this… Some black jeans and heels with my….” “Oh God, my friend put it down” it was hilarious how she felt about each piece that went in the pile. The criteria was sexy, and if it wasn’t then give it a hug and say goodbye
So Thursday night. It was my turn. She was there with another girlfriend. She was super excited “haaaaaaaaaaa payback is a B!” She laughed. As we started, I couldn’t believe how much it hurt my feelings. “Wait wait wait, see what it looks like on”… “MY FRIEND DROPPP IT!” Secretly it felt so good to get rid of all that stuff. Half of it hadn’t been worn in a year or even before I was preggars, some of them just had silly sentimental value and others were just straight out of style. Lmao
Then the most amazing thing happened. So many times I heard myself say “oh this is so hot. when I lose the weight” then in the next sentence it was “Well I don’t know if I want to lose that much weight Soo… Hmmmm, I don’t know” See, of the 60lbs I gained in pregnancy, I had 15 to go. And I realized I could not decide on what I wanted to do. Stop here, continue to build stamina and tone up or loose the weight and tone up.
There was something empowering about knowing I had a choice but still it was a serious dilemma. I’m madly in love with my new curves but I secretly want to lose the weight just because I know I can. At the same time, the reality is I have to be cool with the reality of the second option if I go that route.
Like we’ve talked about before, you have total control over the number on the scale but the distribution of fat is dependent on factors out of your control like genetics. This means there’s a chance I lose the weight and the new goodies are gone, or they could choose to stay. I could also loose the weight and look how I looked pre-pregnancy or my body could have a different idea of what new Moren should look like.
My point is this. Before you start your fitness journey, understand what the goal is because this will determine what direction you want to go. Like how much cardio vs strength raining, 1200 calories vs 1800, 2ce a week or 5 times a week. Once the goals are clear and the direction is set, then desired results can be accomplished
So up until this point, the goal was weight loss and improving my fitness level so it was easy. Focused cardio with some strength training. But as I lay in this bath writing, I know I need to make a decision on next steps. What direction do you think is worth a shot? Stay tuned to find out the decision is in next Wednesday’s post.
